Valerach the Deathless
reclined in his throne on one side of the great heptagonal slab of polished
obsidian that the undying council used as a meeting table. As always, he was
wearing exquisitely made purple and gold robes and a five-pointed adamantine
crown. His crown had twenty-one slots of different shapes and sizes, twelve of
which were occupied by gems of various colors. The lich absentmindedly glanced around the
tremendous meeting hall and at the six empty thrones at the other sides of the
table as his skeletal fingers flipped through his notes on the schedule for
this month’s meeting.
After a few moments, one of the several teleportation
circles around the edges of the room lit up with a flash of red light. Upon the
circle stood a figure clad in a full suit of dark and foreboding plate armor
with a heavy cloak made from dark gray fur draped over its shoulders. From
within the death knight’s visor shone two points of baleful green light, and
the room was filled with the echo of heavy armored footsteps as he wordlessly
strode to his throne. Lord Tallstag was always one of the first to arrive to
the Undying Council’s monthly meetings, but was never much for small talk… or
other extraneous conversation for that matter, Valerach thought.
Next to arrive was a tall humanoid construct made from
mithril, which wore a belt with numerous vials of alchemical substances affixed
to it. This, Valerach knew, was one of Wendellor’s remote-controlled drones that
he always used when his presence was required outside of his laboratory.
Wendellor’s drone hovered across the room with thrusters bult into its feet.
“Hello, Wendellor,” Valerach cheerfully greeted. “How is
your research going?”
“Oh,
it’s going great! Since our last meeting, I have invented even more diabolical
weapons for my constructs to wield against our enemies,” the artificer
enthusiastically explained, his voice echoing from a speaker inside the
construct’s head. “Would you like me to tell you about them?” he queried.
“No,”
Lord Tallstag responded in a bored monotone.
Another ring of arcane sigils activated, and from it
stepped a mummy clad in ceremonial golden armor. Around his neck was a necklace
with the design of a scythe surrounded by a ring of bones, the holy symbol of
Ravius, the Lord of Bones, of whom the mummy lord Amenhotep was the high
priest. “Greetings, blessed councilors. I look forward to our discussion once
the others arrive,” the mummy lord rasped.
The next arrival was a woman wearing red, black, and gold
noble finery. In one hand, she held a decorative ebony cane, the handle made
from onyx and shaped like a bat with two small rubies for eyes. In her other
hand was a golden goblet filled with blood. Countess Mara Graycastle’s red eyes
surveyed the room as she strolled to her side of the table. “I trust that you
were able to come up with something of actual importance to discuss this
time, Valerach…unlike last month, where the most interesting topic was a band
of orcs attacking a small village. I mean, that whole meeting could have just
been a sending spell, for crying out loud,” the vampire teased.
“Indeed,
I have, Mara. And last month there really wasn’t anything interesting going on,
so what was I supposed to do, magically whip up some illusory problem for us to
solve?” the lich wondered aloud with a laugh.
“Can
all of you just cease your pointless blather until the other two have arrived?!”
Lord Tallstag remarked with obvious irritation.
Before
any of the other councilors could respond, yet another circle activated with a
flash of light. This time, out from it came a five-foot-wide floating beholder
skull with a large ball of red light in its central eye socket and ten smaller
orbs levitating around it where the ends of its eyestalks would be. Two small
gems—one a red sphere, the other a pale green prism—orbited the death tyrant’s
skull, large portions of which were covered by a fiery red, chaotic-looking
tattoo. “I have arrived!” Velxer bellowed self-importantly.
“How
is your floating fortress coming along,” Countess Mara queried curiously.
“Progress
is steadily being made, and once it is finally complete—which will take a while—the
world will tremble before my unstoppable army!” the death tyrant asserted with
an evil laugh.
“You
mean our unstoppable army,” Valerach corrected with a smirk.
“Yes,
of course. How could I not share the victory with the ones who helped along the
way?” Velxer mused.
One last series of sigils activated upon the floor as the
last council member arrived. He was wearing a suit of helmetless dark gray
plate armor with gold trim. The dullahan’s boots had spurs affixed to them, and
where his head should be was a jack o’ lantern. “I hate to be late, but I had
another overzealous fool to deal with,” Sir Morn explained, laughing darkly as
he tossed aside a severed head.
“Happens to the best of us,” Mara assured. “You wouldn’t
believe how many idiotic vampire hunters I have to dispatch each year!”
“Well now that everyone is here, let’s begin!’ Valerach
cordially dictated. “First and foremost on today’s agenda is that, with my recent
scrying, I have determined that King Argos the 5th is plotting to go
back to war with us!”
“Is he now? Hahahahahahaha!” Lord Tallstag cackled
in one of his rare moments of humor. “After what I did to his father, I never
would have expected this.”
“If we have another war, it will simply provide us with
more land, more blood, and more undead solders. I mean, we did crush Argen in
the last war that we had. I don’t even know why they would think this is a good
idea,” Countess Mara explained, sounding greatly amused.
“And we will be able to bestow the blessings of undeath
upon the masses,” Amenhotep fervently stated.
“I think we need not make extra preparations, given how
last time went. Besides, with my tactical genius, the war need not last a month,”
Velxer boasted.
“War is the best testing ground for my inventions!”
Wendellor eagerly exclaimed.
“And maybe I can finally find a worthy head to
replace my own,” Sir Morn hopefully stated.
“Seeing as I quite enjoy exploding masses of pathetic
soldiers, I think we are in agreement,” Valerach affirmed. “We shall simply
wait. And if Argos chooses war, we will crush him!”
“Before the lich could continue, there was a puff of
smoke and a startled, robed birdman fell unceremoniously onto the table with a
loud thud.
“Stiffen the wombats!” Boomer shouted as he attempted to
scramble away from the monsters before him.
“What are you doing here, fool?” Lord Tallstag demanded
in a threatening tone as he stood from his seat and drew an evil looking black
sword with the symbol of Ravius on its hilt, as well as an ornate flail, the
end of which was wreathed with fire.
The birdman muttered some arcane words, but as he finished
his spell, Valerach pointed his staff at the sorcerer and the kenku was briefly
held in place by an aura of darkness, stopping the teleportation and leaving
Boomer still on the table.
“A feeble magician like you will never be able to get a
spell past me,” Valerach explained with an air of finality.
“Calm yourself, kenku. We will not harm you,” Mara
reassured, making eye contact with the birdman. Boomer’s posture suddenly
relaxed as the charm made him see the vampire as a trusted friend. “Now tell us
why you teleported into our meeting hall,” the countess commanded.
Boomer made, in succession, the sounds of: an explosion,
metal on metal, a ghostly howl, another explosion, and teleportation.
“I don’t know about y’all, but I, for one, cannot tell in
the slightest what this idiot means,” Sir Morn irritably complained.
“Kenku are incapable of normal communication and must
mimic sounds and phrases they have heard. But that won’t be a problem, because
I will just read his mind,” Valerach explained, raising his voice over the
irritated chatter of the others as they tried to decipher the birdman’s
meaning. The lich chanted a series of arcane words and focused his gaze on
Boomer, looking thorough his every thought. “It appears to me that this kenku
is named Boomer and that he was part of a group of woefully incompetent
adventurers that were hired to clear out a haunted house,” Valerach the
Deathless stated.
“But that doesn’t explain why he is here … or why I
should not kill him on the spot,” Tallstag interrupted.
“I was getting to that … before I was rudely interrupted,”
the undead mage explained with slight irritation before continuing. “Well,
after a series of misadventures within the haunted house, most of this
birdbrain’s companions were dead and he tried to teleport out of the way of a
ghostly warrior’s attack. But in his extreme haste—and incompetence—he somehow
teleported here instead of to the other side of the room he was in. This
haunted house was in Argen, mind you, making this the most impressive display
of failed magic I have ever seen. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why he is
here,” Valerach said with obvious amusement.
“So, what should we do with him?” Velxer wondered aloud.
“Is summary execution in order? Or something more … diabolical.”
“I do not think such harsh measures are necessary,
Velxer. I honestly find him to be quite amusing and was looking for a new
intern anyway… after what happened to the last one,” Wendellor explained. “So
does anyone object to making him an unpaid intern at SkullTech?”
“Sounds good to me,” Valerach confirmed. “Now then, next on the agenda is…”
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