"The House" - Chapter 4: So THAT'S What It Does

As Dave slowly trudged up the stairs, he lamented the absence of the intrepid (and forever-merry) halfling rogue, Jeff, who had been the only party member able to keep the peace between the squabbling adventurers. But sadly, Jeff came down with dysentery a week prior. If it hadn’t been for Cloud turning up at the last minute, all too eager to the join the party on their adventure, they would’ve been a body short.

Halfway up the stairs, he heard a piratey shout, “All hands on deck! We’re being boarded!” Boomer. Dave bounded up the stairs two at a time, following the clamor of battle. As he reached the top of the stairs, there was a flash of light and a loud explosion. Wasting no time, the minotaur healer rushed through the wide-open double doors in front of him and took in the scene. He was in an armory. To his left and right were armor stands and weapon racks full of assorted gear. On the opposite wall were several large stained-glass windows and an ornate display case containing a flintlock pistol, several throwing stars, and a katana with a shiny black blade and a gold hilt with a ruby set in the pommel. The katana’s blade was etched with several glowing, green runes. Directly above the display case hung a large tapestry depicting a knight in black armor wielding that very sword as he cleaved through numerous foes with ease.

In the center of the room stood Hamawk, cackling in delight as he dueled with another pair of ghosts. Striding confidently toward him was a bearded, grizzled, veteran ghost clad in armor that had obviously seen many battles. He was holding a well-worn shield and wielding a chipped sword.

Cowering in a corner, Boomer was struggling to fend off a pair of ghostly warriors with a spear he had snatched from a weapon rack. A few feet away was a blackened, slightly smoking blotch on the floor, no doubt the birdman’s handiwork.

Dave eyed the enchanted katana again. He had never wanted to be a healer. Orphaned at a young age when his entire village was slaughtered by a band of adventurers, he was taken in by a kind family of human clerics. However, they would never be able to instill the knowledge, traditions, and training of the monstrous minotaur race. Dave was born to be a warrior, and now was his chance to become one, no longer standing invisibly on the sidelines waiting to thanklessly patch up everyone’s boo boos. Lowering his head and drawing in a deep breath, the minotaur roared as he charged horns-first into the display case. The cabinet exploded into a shower of splinters and sparkling glass needles. Reaching into the heap of debris, Dave snatched the magical katana and raised it over his head.

The ghostly veteran slowly turned around to face him, assumed a defensive stance, and grinned. With a barbaric roar, the minotaur barreled toward the ghost, not noticing the symbol of an eyeball engraved in the ruby set into the hilt of the raised katana, and the faint crimson glow beginning to emanate from it.

“Ha!” shouted Hamawk as he thrust out his metal hand and grabbed hold of the ghostly sword swinging down at him. Before the ghostly warrior had time to react, the goblin struck the end of its sword with his enchanted mace, hammering the pommel right through the apparition’s chest. Its mouth agape, the ghost uttered a final “Wut?” before it, and its weapon, faded into nothing. With a cocky laugh, Hamawk quipped, “Nailed it!”

The second ghost, who had been patiently waiting behind the arrogant goblin, finally saw its chance and swung its battle axe downward with both hands. Hamawk, who seemed to have a sixth sense, swiftly somersaulted backward and shattered the spirit’s kneecaps with a swing of his mace. As the ghost collapsed onto its mangled knees, Hamawk finished it off with a brutal, metal-fisted uppercut to the jaw.

Stretching out his left hand, Boomer conjured a transparent barrier which deflected a spirit’s sword with a “Ping!” before vanishing. His other opponent opportunistically swung its flail toward his head, but the bird man vanished in a small puff of smoke, reappearing behind the two ghostly warriors. Grasping his spear in both hands, Boomer stabbed the sword-wielding specter in the back, sending it stumbling forward. As the flail-wielding spirit spun around, Boomer took his left hand off the spear and unleashed a narrow blast of fire toward his assailant, sending it stumbling backward. Together, the two ghosts rushed at Boomer. The first one swung its sword at him, but he managed to block it with his spear. The other ghost attacked with a swing of its flail. The chain wound around the shaft of the spear, and with a jerk, the weapon was soon liberated from Boomer’s grasp. With a startled cry of “Stiffen the wombats!” Boomer spun around and made a beeline for the remains of the shattered weapons cabinet.

Dave ferociously slashed downward with the katana as he reached his foe, but the spirit easily sidestepped and slammed his shield into the minotaur’s back as he charged past, sending him sprawling to the floor. Snorting furiously, Dave picked himself up off the ground and ran back toward his opponent. He attacked rapidly, first with his sword, then with his horns, then with a powerful hoof kick, all of which were dodged. Before the ghost had time to dodge a fourth attack, Dave landed a vicious katana strike against its shield, cleaving it in two. Unfazed, the spirit contemptuously sliced Dave’s shoulder on his lumbering follow-through, sending the katana clattering to the floor, its gem glowing a little more brightly than before. The minotaur staggered forward a couple of steps, then dropped to one knee, clutching his bleeding shoulder.

“Rookie mistake!” mocked the ghostly solder, striding toward him. Dave frantically began chanting a healing spell to close up his wound. Before he could finish, the grinning ghost slashed down at his neck.

Clang! A metal hand appeared between Dave and the ghostly blade, stopping the weapon in mid air. “Not today, punk,” growled Hamawk, a dangerous smirk on his face.

Snatching the flintlock pistol from what was left of the display cabinet, Boomer spun around and fired right into the head of his closest pursuer, who silently faded out of existence. His beady, black eyes gleaming in triumph, the bird-man pointed his gun at nis other assailant and click! Nothing happened. Boomer stared in horror at the smoking pistol in his hand as he was kicked into the pile of rubble by the remaining ghost.

“Beshrew thee!” crowed Boomer, firing a bolt of lightning from his hands, instantly removing the ghost from this world and flinging an armor stand into the opposite wall, charring its path with a long, black smear.

With a grunt, Hamawk wrenched the sword from the ghostly warrior’s hand and threw it across the room, where it vanished before hitting the wall. “You lose!” Hamawk shouted, slamming the head of his mace into the specter’s midsection. It collapsed to its knees with a howl.

Dave finished the healing spell for his shoulder and hurried to pick up his katana, the ruby glowing brighter than ever. The fallen spirit laughed grimly and explained, “You may have defeated me, but we were all doomed from the moment that foolish minotaur picked up the sword.” Examining the katana more closely, for the first time Dave noticed the eye etched into the ruby and the crimson glow emitting from it.

“What’s that supposed to m--", Hamawk demanded before he was cut off by a small bolt of fire slamming into the back of the ghostly warrior’s head. The spirit slumped forward and disappeared. Boomer crossed his arms, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. Hamawk rolled his eyes.

As the three adventurers stood there, glancing nervously around the room and wondering what the fallen spirit had meant, they felt an evil presence watching them. A few moments later, Dave turned to see a massive, levitating eyeball staring at him through the far window.

Suddenly, the window threw itself open and stretched until its dimensions grew just enough to allow the eyeball to drift through the opening. The three adventurers exchanged worried looks as Boomer stepped back and Dave and Hamawk positioned themselves in front of him. From all around the room, motes of dust streamed toward the giant eye, coming together to form into four fist-sized, levitating eyeballs. The smaller eyes paired up, one set charging at the goblin, the other at the minotaur. Hamawk viciously swung his mace at one eye, but it nimbly flew out of the way. Grinning, Hamawk proceeded to snatch it out of the air with his metal hand and squeezed. When he opened his fist, a pile of dust sifted through his fingers. He dodged the second eye’s charge and smote it with his mace as it tried to fly past, returning it to the dust from which it was formed.

Dave swung wildly at the first of his assailants, stumbling forward as it dodged to the side. Pressing their advantage, one eye slammed into his side, the other into his back. Snorting with rage, the furious minotaur wheeled around and kicked the ocular menace behind him into a wall, where it crumbled into nothingness. Before he could swing at the other eye, it retreated to a safe distance.

With a series of frantic hand motions, Boomer sent a bolt of fire hurtling toward the giant, terrifying eye looming before his friends. A blue, glowing rod of energy fired from the eye’s saucer-sized pupil, intercepting the spell in an explosion of sparks.

The monstrous eye swiveled to face Dave, or rather the katana in Dave’s hands. As it darted toward him, the minotaur readied himself to impale the grotesque orb like an olive on a stick. Suddenly, the gem on the hilt of his sword began flashing green and his hands were bathed in tongues of verdant fire. He dropped the sword and stumbled back, staring dumbfoundedly at his charred hands as the eye bore down on him. Dave closed his eyes.

“Haaaahh!” Hamawk yelled as he shoved the minotaur out of the way and outstretched his muscular arms to meet the ocular impact. Dave opened his eyes to find the smirking goblin steadfastly blocking the eye’s path.

The eye’s pupil dilated and issued a blast of green fire, which struck Hamawk in the chest and sent him stumbling backward. The eye seemed to retreat slightly before charging forward and ramming into the unprepared goblin. Hamawk was hurtled several feet in the air, slammed into a weapon cabinet, and slumped to the floor. As he struggled to get up, the case began to tip over with an awful creek before crashing down upon him with a sickening crunch.

Boomer stared disbelievingly at the toppled cabinet that lay atop Hamawk’s crumpled corpse. With a cry of “Man overboard!”, Boomer turned toward the massive eye, which was now staring at him and fired the most powerful lightning blast he could muster. A blinding flash of light emitted from the bird-man’s palms as an ear-splitting crack rang through the air. Almost instantly, the pupil of the giant eye constricted and fired another blue rod of energy which intercepted the lightning, but harmlessly fizzled away. With a tremendous boom, the bolt struck the eye head-on, engulfing it in thick, black smoke. The last remaining minion eye flew toward Boomer, but it was met with a bolt of fire and instantly turned to dust.

Clasping his badly charred hands together and muttering a short spell, Dave healed his burns and sprinted toward the fallen weapon cabinet. With a roar, he heaved the cabinet upright and tossed some weapons aside to reveal Hamawk’s mangled form. Placing his hands on the fallen goblin, he used the last of his magical energy to infuse Hamawk with lifeforce and heal his most serious wounds.

The freshly-resurrected goblin struggled to his feet in a momentary daze and groggily asked “What happened?” His memory quickly returned once the smoke cleared to reveal a singed, but mostly unharmed, giant eyeball, the front of which was now split open to reveal a gaping maw full of terrifying, sword-like teeth. A guttural roar emanated from the monstrosity a moment before a torrent of green fire slammed into Boomer’s hastily-summoned, magical barrier. The bird-man’s eyes widened as his invisible shield dissolved before him in a matter of seconds. Dave and Hamawk watched in horror as their companion was engulfed in cursed flames. A split second later, Boomer appeared in the entryway, his extremities singed and smoldering. “Abandon ship! Abandon ship!” he shouted as he darted out the door and vaulted over the railing down to the first floor.

Hamawk spotted his mace lying on the floor across the room, a little past where the eye was levitating. Snatching a shield from a nearby weapon rack, he made a break for it. “Hamawk, no!” Dave shouted. The goblin charged single-mindedly at the beast, his head tucked behind the shield strapped to his enchanted metal arm. A cyan glow emanated from within the monster’s cavernous maw and a barrage of neon energy rods began bombarding Hamawk’s shield. As he neared the eye, the heroic barbarian flung the pitted, charred, and bent shield into the jaws of the hovering monstrosity and skillfully slid underneath it to reach his enchanted mace. When he lifted his weapon off the floor, he heard the horrific creak of bending steel as the great eye almost effortlessly crushed the shield between its jaws.

The monster spun to face Hamawk. Grinning viciously, the goblin pulled his metal arm back, then unleashed a powerful uppercut aimed at the huge eye’s mouthful of teeth. But he was too late. The monstrosity opened its mouth and welcomed the flying fist into its cavernous maw, then clamped down on the enchanted arm. Floating upward, the eye thrashed the dangling goblin around like a ragdoll. Hamawk repeatedly swung his mace in desperation, but only a fraction of the blows connected, and they accomplished little besides making the beast angrier.

Dave grabbed a battle axe from a nearby weapon rack, leapt into the air with a ferocious roar, and swung his weapon at the monster’s exposed backside. But before the blow could land, one of the eye’s pink, ropey tendrils wrapped itself around the blade’s haft. As the minotaur hung from his ensnared weapon, the eye spun around and released its grip, sending the healer hurtling into a wall and slumping to the floor in a daze.

With one final effort, the great eye snapped cleanly through Hamawk’s enchanted arm. The dizzied warrior dropped unceremoniously to the floor. The monster turned its attention back toward Dave. As the eye bore down on his friend, the humbled Hamawk stood up, stared at his mangled stump for a moment, and sprinted out the door. Hearing a loud gulp, the goblin dared one final glance over his shoulder. Dave was nowhere to be found, and the monster was lazily drifting toward the enchanted katana that lay on the floor.

Go to Chapter 5 ⏩



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