Creeping up to the door, Cloud examined it carefully, checking for poison needles in the keyhole, swinging scythes in the ceiling, and other such traps. After a short time, she declared it safe, and Sir Kevin stepped up and cautiously opened it. Inside was a kitchen with cabinets along the walls, an old stove with two pans lying atop it, a broom propped up in the corner, and an island in the middle, behind which stood a ghostly chef polishing a knife.
With a furious shout of “Let’s get ‘em!”, Sir Kevin dashed toward the specter, sword in hand. The apparition looked up and, with a smirk, thrust its hand in the knight’s direction. Feeling a magical force push against him, Sir Kevin braced himself and only slid back a few feet. Before the warrior could charge again, the spectral chef threw the knife he had been polishing at Kevin’s forehead. Reacting quickly, the knight raised his shield and the knife bounced off, falling harmlessly to the floor.
As Rusty and Cloud ran to Sir Kevin’s aid, the broom and two pans began levitating in the air. Grinning and drawing her shortswords, the cat person shouted “I’ll handle them! You help Kevin” and sprinted toward the levitating objects.
Pouring a fraction of his life force into his maul, which caused it to glow with radiant energy, the mechanical warrior leaped over the island. With a chuckle and a wave of its hand, the specter telekinetically hurled Rusty to the floor before he could strike. Before the already badly damaged construct could regain his feet, the poltergeist grinned wickedly, and with a casual flick of its wrist, magically hurled the entire contents of a silverware drawer at him.
Cloud nimbly dodged under a swinging pan, and with a swipe of her two short swords, sliced the broom into thirds. However, before she had time to react, the cat person was sent sprawling by a blow to the face from the other pan.
“Rustyyyy!!!”, Sir Kevin shouted as he leaped over the island and swung his blade in an arc of radiant light toward the spectral chef. The apparition telekinetically yanked two knives out of Rusty’s corpse and caught them just in time to block the knight’s blade.
Cloud rolled out of the way of one haunted pan’s downward strike, sending it smashing into the floor. Before it could float back up, the feline rogue stabbed down with both swords, impaling it and sticking it to the floor. Leaving her blades there, Cloud swung open her cloak to reveal rows of daggers, several of which she deftly threw at the remaining pan, a few embedding themselves in the metal.
Sir Kevin and the poltergeist were locked in a deadly contest of strength until, with a final grunt of effort, the knight clove his foe’s knives in twain and relieved the specter of its ghastly head. With a look of shock and disgust on its severed head, the spectral cook vanished from this world.
As Cloud was picking up her daggers and Sir Kevin was searching Rusty’s corpse for anything useful, the two of them heard panicked footsteps behind them. Suddenly, Boomer sprinted through the door and slammed it behind him. The bird man looked disheveled, exhausted from fighting and running, and his feathers were singed in a few places. Cloud and Kevin stood staring at him, wondering what the matter was.
After catching his breath, Boomer made the sounds of a metallic clang followed by an explosion, a scream, and finally “Abandon ship! Abandon ship!”. Although they weren’t exactly sure what he meant, the bird man’s friends were able to gather that something had gone horribly awry. It was at that moment that they heard another set of hurried footsteps, and then Boomer leaped out of the way as Hamawk flung open the door.
He was in much worse shape than Boomer, bloody and bruised, and seemed barely able to stand. “Hamawk, what happened to your arm?!” Cloud gasped. The badly injured goblin managed, between breaths, to say “I… could probably use a… heal about now… Kevin”. The knight hastily ran
over to the barbarian, placed his hand on him, and uttered a short prayer, causing many of Hamawk’s wounds to be magically healed.
“OK, so what the heck happened to you guys?” Kevin asked, exasperated.
After taking a moment to collect himself, the goblin recounted what had happened. “Well… after the party split up, me, Boomer, and Dave headed upstairs to the armory where we were attacked by several pathetic warrior ghosts and one quite skilled, grizzled veteran ghost. Then that bonehead cleric picked up some weird magic katana and thought it would be a good idea to try dueling the ghost veteran. He almost got himself killed before I stepped in and saved him.
“With its last words, the spirit said something about us being doomed because Dave picked up the sword. Well, after that, a window suddenly opened and enlarged itself, and a gigantic eyeball drifted in. We fought it for a while and things were going fine until the front of the eye opened up into a giant mouth full of dagger-sized teeth. After a hard fight, Boomer bailed on us for some reason and when it seemed like I finally had the thing, it bit my whole gosh dang arm off and I had to tactically retreat.” He paused. “Oh, and it ate Dave, too, I guess.”
Upon hearing this, Boomer shrugged and parroted, “Alas, poor Yorick”.
“Where is this eye now?” Sir Kevin asked with a hint of worry.
“I’m not entirely sure, but it definitely isn’t chasing us and I think it may have left the house,” the goblin answered.
“Well, while you guys were fighting the giant eye monster or whatever, a poltergeist impaled Rusty with a bunch of silverware,” Cloud sighed exasperatedly.
“I wanted to be the one to kill him,” the diminutive barbarian pouted.
“Never split the party,” Boomer sagely stated, quoting a popular piece of advice among adventurers’ guild members.
Cloud shook her head in disappointment. “You’re right, Boomer. We never should have split up, but these to idiots just HAD to start a fight and stomp off.”
“Don’t lecture us,” said idiots shouted in unison before stomping off deeper into the house.
With a sigh, the feline warrior followed them with the bird man not far behind.
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